For ages, Mount Everest has inspired admiration and respect as the world’s tallest mountain, a symbol of everything that makes humans who climb it superior to those who don’t. Yet it is also the site of one of climbing’s most enduring and enigmatic questions: Where is the base, or “foot,” of the mountain?
Although the official height of Everest is long-established science, mountaineers and geographers have argued, sometimes bitterly, over the precise location of the mountain’s base.
Until now.
A team of climbers from the Royal Geographic Secret Spanking Society have discovered what they believe to be the foot of Mount Everest.
“We noticed a boat melting out of the ice and didn’t think anything of it at first. But then we took a closer look, unlaced the boat, and there it was… the Foot,” said expedition leader Chiminey Jim, his voice trembling. “We all started running around, dropping F-bombs and spanking each other like crazy!” »
Experts say the potential discovery of the foot of Mount Everest could provide clues to the official relief of the world’s only mountain.
“We have known for a long time Or the summit is and how high “It’s true,” says Guy Canard, owner of the commercial guide company Dare Elite My Balls Expeditions. “The tricky part was understanding how much climbing it took to get there. And for that, we needed to know where the escalation is located begin. In other words, where is the base of Everest?
Finding the foot of Everest has become an obsession among adventurers, explorers and the wider kink community, rivaled only by the hunt for the lost city of Atlantis or the elusive 20% off code. ‘a yeti. Many skeptics have called this quest pure madness, viewing Everest’s “footers” as akin to a flat Earth society.
“These Footers better put their drooling balls back in their mouths… How many times do I have to say it?!” There is no foot of Everest! » Ned Beasturs once shouted on Good Morning America.
Still, the question of whether the foot of Everest might ever be discovered has often been a useful way to secure grants and funding. The Royal Geographic Secret Spanking Society alone has funded at least 5,000 expeditions to Everest, ostensibly to find footing, but also to stage its annual BDSM orgy beneath the majestic Chomolungma, between consenting adventurous adults.
Discovering the foot of Everest represents more than just a step in the ascent: it reshapes our understanding of the Himalayas and the natural processes that gave rise to this majestic region. The toe, in geological terms, marks the precise location where the base of the mountain meets the Earth’s crust, forming the base from which Everest rises to its towering height of 8,848 meters (29,029 feet). ). This precise location has long been obscured by the region’s complex terrain, glacial movements and discarded whips, leather leggings and Bore-tex jackets that forever leak chemicals into the headwaters of the most sacred of rivers of the world.
The discovery of the foot of Everest recalls the last great geographical milestone in Everest’s rich and storied history: the time when the famous American mountaineer Rad Canker discovered the foot of the Khumbu glacier.
“From the toe of Khumbu to the foot of Everest, we are now on the verge of truly understanding the full anatomical majesty of Mount Everest,” Jim says, his fingers rattling his cage.