This article was written by Maeve Hanan, registered dietitian and director of Dietetically Speaking.
The holiday season can be trying for those who have a difficult relationship with food or suffer from eating disorders, as diet plays a central role during this celebratory time.
This article will review some practical strategies to help you prioritize and protect your relationship with food during the holiday season.
Put a plan in place
What you include in your festive food plan will depend a lot on your needs. If you have a treatment team or work with medical professionals, they can help you.
Examples of what this plan could include:
- Your coping mechanisms, such as journaling, talking to a loved one, breathing exercises, affirmations, etc.
- Potential triggers to be aware of/prepared for, for example, I know the few days after Christmas are very triggering for me when there are lots of scary foods in the house, so I will continue to eat regularly and avoid the restrictions, doing grounding activities, getting support from my family to stock up, this is a more helpful way and will allow me to plan enjoyable activities that will get me out of the house
- Who will you turn to for help?
- Your meal plan if you have one, that is, in the early stages of eating disorder recovery
- Any food issues (if any), for example, I plan to try tartlets at least 3 times during the holidays and I will guess how afraid I am of this food out of 10 each time.
- Any boundaries you need to set regarding party food, such as asking others to talk about food in a neutral manner (etc.)
Take advantage of your support network
Loneliness, isolation, and suppression of emotions can make eating disorders worse. It is therefore essential to call on your support network rather than struggling alone (1,2).
Your support network may include friends, family, support groups, healthcare professionals and helplines like those offered by organizations such as the Beat Eating Disorder charity.
If you feel you need further support, you can speak to your GP, a mental health professional and/or an eating disorder dietitian.
Use your coping mechanisms
It’s important to have a handful of coping mechanisms available, including a few quick options to use during stressful times and also a few more time-consuming options that can be used preemptively and thoughtfully.
Examples of quick coping mechanisms include:
- A few deep breaths
- An affirmation or a reassuring sentence, for example, it’s difficult but I can get through it
- Relax your jaw
- Tighten and release a part of your body, for example your fists
- Give yourself a hug
- Go outside for a breath of fresh air
- Focus on how many colors you can see or how many sounds you can hear around you
Examples of longer coping mechanisms include:
- Logging
- A guided meditation
- yoga
- A walk
- A bath
- Talk to a loved one or healthcare professional
Avoid restrictions
Eating regularly without rules or restrictions is very important for fueling and nourishing your body, having consistent energy levels, avoiding hunger, supporting digestive health, reducing the risk of eating disorders and much more.
Restricting certain foods can also be a slippery slope leading to food anxiety and preoccupation and disordered behaviors like binge eating and purging.
So, if you feel an urge to skip meals, follow dietary rules, or make up for what you ate during the holiday season, it’s best to notice it and remember that:
- The restriction is messy and unnecessary
- You should eat regularly every day, even if you feel like you ate more than usual that day or the day before, etc.
To do this, you may need to follow the 3-3-3 guideline of 3 meals and 3 snacks, eating approximately every 3 hours. Or you may have a specific meal plan to follow from your eating disorder dietitian.
Give yourself permission to enjoy festive foods
Enjoyment, creating memories, and developing a flexible relationship with food are just as important as nutritional intake.
Additionally, viewing certain foods as “bad,” “nasty,” or “sinful” options, etc. can harm your relationship with food. For example, viewing chocolate cake as a sinful option rather than a party food has been associated with comfort eating and feelings of loss of control with food (3).
So it’s crucial to allow yourself to enjoy festive treats without guilt. This may be easier said than done if you suffer from food guilt or anxiety, but practice and reassurance helps.
Things that might help include:
- Notice when negative food thoughts arise and see if you can label that and let it go, for example, I notice the inner food critic right now or I notice that I think I’m bad for eating these tarts.
- Create an affirmation to help with unconditional permission to eat, for example, no food is good or bad and I deserve to enjoy holiday foods.
- Keep a journal explaining why it is important to give yourself unconditional permission to eat
- See if you can reframe festive food anxiety into food gratitude, for example. Although I’m feeling anxious right now, I’m also grateful to have access to tasty foods at Christmas.
- Plan an eating challenge with a food that you have difficulty being flexible with, for example, I will eat a handful of chocolates at least 4 times during the holidays
Set limits
Setting clear boundaries can play a very important role in protecting your wellbeing and your relationship with food over the Christmas period.
This could include:
- Let people know what support or accommodations for certain situations. For example, opened boxes of chocolates are a trigger food for me, so they can be put away and taken out after meals.
- Communicate explicit boundaries, for example, please don’t label foods as good or bad in front of me
- Walk away from a triggering situation or conversation
- Set a boundary with yourself, for example, I will not weigh myself or follow unnecessary social media accounts
Remember that you may need to repeat the boundaries several times before they are fully taken into account by another person.
Plan non-food related activities
Although food is an important aspect of Christmas, it is not the only focus.
So, planning and enjoying non-food-related activities can help balance celebrations and reduce the attention and pressure related to food if it feels overwhelming.
This could include:
- Christmas movie nights
- Carol sings
- Board games
- Wreath decoration
- Make Christmas decorations
- Christmas shopping
Summary
While it’s understandable that you may find some aspects of the holidays difficult when it comes to eating, there are a number of steps you can take to protect yourself and your relationship with food.
If you are interested in one-on-one support in your relationship with food, you can arrange a free discovery call with one of our specialist dietitians here.
References:
- Levine, MP (2013). Loneliness and eating disorders. Loneliness updated, 260-274. [accessed December 2023 via: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22303623/]
- Smith, KE, Mason, TB, Anderson, NL and Lavender, JM (2019). Unpacking cognitive emotion regulation in eating disorder psychopathology: Differential relationships among rumination, thought suppression, and eating disorder symptoms in men and women. Eating Behaviors, 32, 95-100. [accessed December 2023 via: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30677597/]
- Kuijer, RG, Boyce, JA, & Marshall, EM (2015). Associating a prototypical forbidden food with guilt or celebration: relationships with indicators of an (un)healthy diet and the moderating role of stress and depressive symptoms. Psychology and Health, 30(2), 203-217. [accessed December 2023 via: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25186250/]