I’ll be honest, I went through a long phase where I was decidedly anti-resolution at the start of each new year. I was tired of the low-level emotional rollercoaster they had sent me on – the dopamine rush of making a resolution only to be met with the crash of disappointment a few weeks later left me disillusioned.
But these days, I see the value of thought, intention, and planning. Do you know the saying:
A dream without a plan is just a wish.
This is so true in adult life, when so many things compete for your time. In order to intentionally create a life we love, we need a plan. We need to take stock of what we need to do to make our dreams a reality and know where to find time.
Once I admitted to myself that I enjoyed taking stock of the past year and thinking about the arc of the year ahead, I happily realized that I was making resolutions, even though I love resolutions. think of it more as guidelines or intentions.
I thought I’d share my process for the year ahead in hopes it will help inspire your mindful New Year’s resolutions.
First, I reflect on the past year.
When you reflect on the past year, think about the highlights. What did you plan to do and accomplished? What were the best moments and memories? It could be anything from professional success to emotional change to a trip you’ve always wanted to take.
If you are more of a visual person, you can create a Highlight Reel on Instagram. I’ve done it and it’s easy and fun: put it to music and it really sparks joy. You can even keep it in your drafts if you don’t like sharing personal information on Insta.
Last year I turned 50 – this milestone coupled with being a cancer survivor for eight years meant my intention for the year was simple: To truly enjoy my life. Consciously cultivate more pleasure and connection. This may seem basic, but it was major for me.
I had spent years with Jason on the road, which made socializing on the weekends difficult. I had spent years worrying about my health. I had spent years trying to find a suitable school for my child and learning about neurodiversity. It was time to remember the parts of me that could absorb beauty, that could belly laugh with friends, that could let go and live a little.
So I planned a family trip for my 50th birthday. I invited my friends and family to come to our new home and spent several wonderful weekends with old friends. I went to see Harry Styles and laughed the whole evening, including when we managed to still be in bed at 11 p.m. I took long walks by the ocean. I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried to make new friends. And Jason and I found several easy and delicious places for evening dinner.
It was… incredible. And the intention was conscious. Without it, I wouldn’t have found time for these things.
This is part of why it’s so important to recognize the previous year. It helps us see how focused intention guides our actions.
But don’t worry if you didn’t follow through on your intention or if your year was a disaster. If this appeals to you, you can also reflect on the challenges of the past year. Ask yourself: Have I dealt with these things? If not, are there practices I can implement or is there outside support I can seek to help me? Remember that there are countless tools in life and you don’t have to move forward alone. Maybe your intentions for the new year will include finding a therapist or coach or reaching out more to friends who “get” you.
Second: Choose a word or theme that you would like to continue for the coming year.
Try not to think about it too much! What bubbles on the surface? In all likelihood, there is an inner desire that lies just behind your consciousness. Go ahead and let it out.
You might find several words competing for your attention. If so, I suggest sitting with things for a few days and seeing if any of them emerge as the obvious choice.
Or you might end up with multiple words! This is my case this year. I started with the word creativity.
But I realized that to cultivate creativity, I needed more contemplative time and space, which meant I would have to offload some of the less creative parts of my life and work. I also decided that I didn’t want to give up the connection with my friends that I had worked too hard to rekindle last year. So I came across these three words, which seem interrelated:
Manage. Create. Connect.
Third: Once you have refined your word(s), you can write an outline.
Remember: a dream without a plan is just a wish.
Where can you find time to make your intention a reality? What form will your intention take? (Of course I can tell myself that I want to be more creative, but what will I TO DO about this?)
For this step, I really like Gretchen Rubin’s 23 for 2023, which you can read here. It’s very simple: it’s a list of 23 things you’ll do this year (big and small) centered around your word or theme.
I like having a big list of 23 because you have enough space to list from the noble (describing a book idea) to the mundane (buying a new dress), to the logistical (recreating budget/budget goals). savings).
Rubin also encourages you to make it a fun exercise and to be specific.. So instead of “plan date nights with Jason,” I write “plan to try 5 new restaurants with Jason.”
You may be the type of person who likes to segment your list into categories: work, social, physical, mental/emotional. Or you might be like me and like to let it all play out in one big mess.
I have comments enabled for this blog and would love to hear your comment, your words, or even see your list!
Here is my list:
My words: Manage. Create. Connect.
1. Eat 5 servings of fruit/vegetables per day
2. Plan 5 related podcast packages
3. Make more family photo book stories
4. Schedule quarterly team lunches
5. Take Sofia to London and see the New Forest ponies
6. Host Jason’s local weekend workshop and fun student dinner
7. Post on social media 3x/week
8. Stand up paddle with family 1 time/month
9. Teach a Unique Webinar Course
10. Organize a family mah jong or game night
11. Create personal budget goals with Jason
12. Plan 5 new restaurant dates
13. Continue walking near the beach/yoga/weight training 5 days/week
14. Describe a book (or try several to improve?)
15. Try pickleball again
16. Teach Sofia to cook 3 dishes
17. Be more systematic in your dealings with friends and colleagues
18. Try writing/journaling/blogging in the morning
19. Check this list on the 1st of every month
20. When in doubt, avoid comparing; get out of my head
21. 23 consecutive days of meditation
22. Take a trail ride
23. Go to Washington for a wedding, Boston to see friends