What is the truth about who we are?

I have always been curious about different spiritual points of view. Although there are many of them, they seek similar things, such as freedom from suffering, salvation or enlightenment, and choosing the right path in life. The self in spirituality—that is, the nature, importance, and reality of the individual self—is a topic that almost all spiritual seekers consider at some point.

Recently I had a conversation with a Christian friend who told me that Christianity is ultimately about self-sacrifice. A Buddhist meditation class I’m taking focuses on the idea that there is no static self. In yoga, we often talk about leaving our smaller self or ego behind as we seek to connect with our higher self.

Do these views mean that our ego is insignificant, non-existent, or in some way a mistake? How should we view the self in spirituality?

Self Ssacrifice as a spiritual ideal

I view and tend to agree with self-sacrifice as a spiritual ideal, but I think it is often misunderstood. For Christians, the ideal rests on the sacrifice of Jesus and what it means for his disciples. It is reasonable to believe that they should strive to do the same. Yet something about the phrase self-sacrifice This bothered me and I thought about it for quite a while after our conversation.

My friend made this comment in response to something I said about contemplative practices and their value on a spiritual path. I delved deeper into the Tibetan Buddhist practice of Shamata and noted that I had not learned such practices growing up. a Christian. For me, this is unfortunate because they make a huge difference in my ability to “be still and know God.”

I want peace. And I want my mind to be quiet so I can hear God. I want to hear from God so I can have a better life. And I would like this better life while I am still in human form. I also know that a better life means a life that is not focused on me – or. I, me, mine – as teachers of wisdom often say.

The vision of the self “without self” in spirituality: do we even exist?

One of the goals of Buddhism is to recognize that there is no inherent self. This contrasts considerably with the Christian view, at least on the surface. And it’s worth exploring without rushing to take sides.

The concept of non-self does not mean that we do not exist, nor that we do not have individual qualities. This means that we are not immutable. According to Buddhism, there is no static entity that is me and always will be, even in this life.

Why think in terms of non-self? Because if we think of ourselves as individual, static entities, we spend a lot of our lives trying to fortify that sense of self. We seek pleasure from external sources and do everything possible to avoid pain, often in self-destructive ways. We are either numb or overexcited most of the time. We are far too focused on self-preservation.

But we all know we won’t last forever, so why this madness?

Limitations of the self-absorbed self

The idea of ​​self-sacrifice resonates in many ways. The antidote to self-centeredness seems to be self-sacrifice. But when misunderstood, it suggests that everyone is more important and more valuable than the one who sacrifices themselves. If you sacrifice yourself for me, I matter and not you.

But if I don’t have a self to sacrifice and we all still exist, in a sense, I on You. And you are me. And we’re both part of everything. We all matter and we are all connected. There is one caveat — and here’s the problem — we all need to transcend the concept of self to work in an interconnected team.

This probably won’t happen to all of humanity anytime soon. But we can seek out communities of like-minded people who share a similar view of self in spirituality. Without community, interconnectedness can turn into a one-sided sacrifice that annihilates many valuable beings. Little or nothing good comes of it.

The difference between the idea of ​​self-denial and the concept of no-self is clear, but the result is essentially the same. What we seek to distance ourselves from on the spiritual path is a sense of self-importance, of clinging to what makes us unique: our possessions, our success, our relationships (when they are selfish), and even our God if We see God as the one who rewards our tribe but not yours.

The role of the mind in self-understanding in spirituality

So how can meditation help with all of this? I believe this helps us move from an “out there” concept of God to an experience of the divine that guides our lives. Actually, I don’t just believe that. I know he. I experienced it.

Meditation calms (or clears) our cluttered, self-centered, talkative, scared, and clinging minds. But emptying is only a first step, not a goal.

The reason we want to clean up the mess is to let in something better. This something better is God, truth, illumination, illumination. Yes, they are somewhat different concepts, but that is only because no single word or concept can capture them. experience I speak.

This is why we need experience: to be still and to know.

It’s hard to stay still.

Redefining Yourself in Spirituality: Getting Out of Your Own Way

Meditation can be difficult because it requires us to listen and deal with what we hear. We squirm because we are used to reacting, defending ourselves, and needing answers. NOW. But we benefit more from mystery, because our understanding of anything can only evolve when we don’t know – or don’t think we know. Truth is not something we can grasp and possess.

The Tibetan Buddhist tradition identifies five things that hinder spiritual growth: seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, boredom or lethargy, anxiety or excitement, and indecision. In any of these states – even the most desirable ones (it is good to be happy and avoid pain) – the truth can be obscured.

The pleasure is great. But it won’t last. Suffering cannot be avoided, no matter how long you run. And it’s probably no secret that the result of being centered and clear-minded is more favorable than what happens when we’re lethargic, anxious, or confused about what to do.

A more esoteric but poetic way of expressing this is that contemplative practices lift the veil that obscures enlightenment. As Alan Wallace explains, illumination does not mean that a bright light illuminates something. This means that we are bright light.

Once enlightened, we can stop seeking to preserve ourselves. We are not gloomy, anxious, or confused. We know it. And this knowledge allows us to focus on the path forward. We control our own mind rather than letting it control us.

Enlightened beings are naturally kind, compassionate, joyful and balanced. These qualities are linked to self-sacrifice. But by understanding ourselves as interconnected beings, we become, along with all sentient beings, the objects of these aspirations.

Self-sacrifice for what purpose?

While I was working on this article, another friend reminded me of the children’s book “The Giving Tree.” If you’re unfamiliar with the book, it’s a children’s story about a tree that sacrifices itself—its fruit, its branches, and finally its trunk—so that its “friend,” a boy at the beginning of the story, be happy.

At the end of the story, the tree is nothing more than an exhausted stump and the “friend,” now a tired old man, sits on it. He took everything she had and never thanked her. It’s supposed to be a story about self-sacrifice and the joy of giving without reward. But clearly something is missing from the message.

If we give our all so that another person can be happy, what does that say about us? Was it acceptable for the “friend” to take everything the tree had and give nothing in return?

Mr. Scott Peck, the psychologist who wrote the best-selling book “The Road Less Traveled” several decades ago, described love as “the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own spiritual growth or that of others.” This is a powerful definition.

Liberating yourself in spirituality does not mean destroying it

Using Peck’s definition, it is not love if we are willing to allow others to diminish us. But if we approach love from the perspective that it is for the benefit of ours and that of the beloved spiritual growth, the result is very different everywhere.

We cannot grow spiritually if we are self-centered or self-centered. We grow when we are part of something bigger. If we move beyond the idea of ​​winners and losers, it will happen. Egos take a back seat as the true nature we all share is illuminated. Only then can we shed light that matters.

Do you see the difference?